Innocent Slow Worm Is Gruesomely Murdered

Above: The murdered slow worm, with a single gaping wound near its head

BREAKING NEWS! You heard it from us first, that an innocent slow worm has been found dead on an otherwise peaceful country road. The theory of murder was first suspected after a single stab wound was spotted near the creature's head, a coroner specialising in reptiles stated today.

The worm was found dead ("probably for hours", said the coroner) by a local family cycling on the Suffolk road yesterday afternoon. A spokesperson for the family stated, "they were obviously shocked, and were quick to call the slow worm police force, but not before their daughter had used images of the casualty for her Instagram page and blog.". He continued, "It seemed too good an opportunity for her to miss. I mean, it's not every day a 12-year-old gets to see a murdered slow worm!"

The circumstances of the murder are a matter of dispute. Locals were very much aware of the ongoing feud between the slow worm's family and local grass snakes, who subjected the worms to threats and abuse after discovering that the slow worm species bore more resemblance to lizards than to snakes. Another argument had also commenced a few weeks prior to the death between the slow worms and nearby field mice, over ownership of local fields. However, the coroner has ruled that the stab wound was far too deep to have been made by either species. At the time of writing, both the grass snakes and the field mice have yet to make a statement.

Above: A chalk line drawn by police around the victim's body.

Tributes have been flooding in on ReptileConnect.com for the legless victim, led by the slow worm's own family. The unnamed victim's grandmother, a resident of the area for the past fifty years, posted on the site: "What a devastating piece I read in Slow Worm Today earlier. A loss of an active youngster, a slow worm who liked the fast things in life."

A police search is underway.



Thanks for reading. I've just realised that that's the first fantasy/story post I've done without an introduction at the start! Welcome to the new Dramatis Persona story-post format! And if you're wondering, yes, we found a slow worm while out cycling, yes, I am the mentioned daughter, and, no, I cannot guarantee that this riveting murder story is true.
-DP :)

10 Day Photo Challenge Day 4 – Outfit

Fellow Londoners, wasn't our weather unusually fantastic today? Fantastic for a field trip day, anyway. I had a Geography trip to the Docklands, the Thames Barrier and the London 2012 Olympic Park today, which blew my expectations, said expectations being based on being stuck with a droning teacher on a Monday morning learning about settlements. But this was actually to interesting places and about an interesting subject (how East London is changing and rejuvenating, that sort of thing) and I actually loved wandering around the different places and debating with my friends whether a dirty patch on the Excel Centre building counted as vandalism. And, of course, the weather was perfect :).

So yep, good day so far. But it got better when I got to be in a vintage fashion shot for 10 Day Photo Challenge Day 4!


“Fashions fade, style is eternal.” 

Shoes ~ Schuh

Cardigan ~ Theory

Dress ~ Handmade

Necklace + Sunglasses ~ vintage so don't really have a brand :)


I chose this quote, from Yves Saint Laurent, to sum up in this photo's title how although a trend can be out of style, not be paraded on this season's catwalks and never be worn on the street, it may have disappeared, but the people who truly love it as a trend will keep on wearing it in their personal style. And the trends that I think that's most true for are those of the 1950s, and vintage trends in general. Although they were most popular nearly 60 years ago, there are people today who keep the trends alive in their personal style, apart from the current fashions.

I got this outfit about a year ago now (Really? Time seriously flies) when we had a day in my last year of primary school when our whole class had to come in costumes from the 50s and 60s. I hadn't been very interested in the dress or the whole outfit (when I was a dumb eleven-year-old, I thought it was the kind of thing old ladies wear), until I got inspired to be more into vintage clothes. I hate to say this because it sounds so shallow, but I became more interested when I saw pictures of Taylor Swift wearing her various vintage outfits in the liner notes of Red. Then, I went on lots of fashion blogs and shopping sites, and researched different vintage styles, and I'm trying to make it a more and more serious interest. So naturally, I was thrilled when it was announced that the theme of our Scout camp disco would be 1950s. Another excuse to wear my vintage outfit (you can't really see on the picture, but it has cute little bows on it :) )!

This is the only vintage dress I own (because frankly I don't go to many occasions where that'd be appropriate), but I have a ton of pictures of more on my iPad, and I'm starting to post a few on my Instagram page (it's meant to be Taylor Swift-themed, but hey, Taylor – vintage, there's kind of a link…). Maybe when I'm older!
-DP :)

10 Day Photo Challenge Day 3 – Food

Back to the 10 Day Photo Challenge today, but I'm going to have to make it quick. So quick in fact, that I've decided to leave some lengthy writing posts for the weekend or tomorrow, when I have a bit more time. I'll keep the topics secret, but I'm at least giving you guys something to look forward to :).

Anyway, sorry to say that I don't really have much excuse for a late in the evening, quickly written post, other than watching The Apprentice AND its after-show (taking up a total of an hour and a half) and before that reading the last 50 or so pages of Noughts & Crosses (as good as the critics say. How I haven't read it in the last three years while everyone in primary school was raving about it, I honestly don't know). But this long preamble is sort of contradictory to the quick posting agenda for today, so I'll get on with the photography...


The Paint Palette Of The Food World

This is a spectacular representation of my favourite food: sushi. Apart from the obvious reason of the conflicting flavours of the sweet rice, sumptuous fish and delicious seaweed (or nori if you want to be authentic), I love the rainbow of reds, oranges, greens, purples and whites that make up sushi. I know that sounds like such a clichéd, made-up-for-the-sake-of-sounding-pretentious kind of reason, but I think a lot of sushi's growing appeal is down to the aesthetics. It's a good seller, looking better in the window that a lot of its competitors. The reddy pink of the tuna maguro and the neon orange of the salmon sake, make us, the ridiculously shallow general public, leap straight at them. Bright colours mean good taste, right? In this case, definitely.

This specific platter is the product of Tsuru, a small but lovely little London sushi chain of about three joints (their name means "crane" in Japanese, so they have little origami cranes hanging in the windows, which I like to imagine the chefs made themselves). Tsuru is small and not very famous, but it has some of the best sushi I've ever tasted, a step above big chains like Yo! Sushi, Wasabi and Itsu. Here you've got the usual favourites like maguro, sake and salmon California roll, but also twists like tuna California rolls and several variants of prawn maki (the Japanese word for rolled up sushi). But the best thing has to be 50% off all sushi after 5:30, which is perfect for dinner after school! (Although I'm often there late, so all that's left are boxes of tasteless tuna rolls)

And if you're wondering, the platter was not bought just for the picture, my mum and I did eat it afterwards. Sorry to make you envious :p.
-DP :)

10 Day Photo Challenge: Day 1 – Outside

Hi everyone, the next 10 or so posts will be very exciting, I'm proud to announce! I'm feeling enthusiastic right now because I am happy to have signed up for the 10 Day Photo Challenge, where you photograph something under a certain theme every day for 10 days (well, you can have breaks in between the photos, but that's what you do in theory). I found this on Neevie's cute, funny and generally awesome blog Totally Neevie, and I can't wait to see hers and others' interpretations of such diverse themes!

So the themes are as follows. I'll put this image – not mine – on my sidebar soon so anyone can copy and paste it onto their blogs to attempt the challenge, and also so you can see what themes I'll be photographing soon!

So the first theme was Outside, so this is what I came up with:

The Plants Awake

This a close-up of very defined morning dew on daffodil leaves, taken at about 8:30am in our country house garden. The surreal name comes from my imaginings of dew being the plant equivalent of humans yawning as they wake up in the morning, and also of human sweat (I'm sorry, that was a disgusting metaphor, but it's true). I also love the light in this picture, and how the drops of dew are different shades of green and yellow, depending on whether they're in the shade or sun. This photo is also an emblem of spring and summer with the bright greens and sun, a sign that the warm seasons are throttling winter and rising again, in the form of dew drops.

I've really enjoyed taking and writing about my first photo for the challenge, and I can't wait to do more!

-DP :)

PS This is not an annoyingly selective tag, it's an inclusive photo challenge. Anyone can take on the challenge, if they dare! Joking, it's not that hard, it's fun!

Pigs, Peanuts And Pretty Pointless Movies: What You Can Find At A Car Boot Sale

It's May Day bank holiday everyone! Well, to be honest, I'm not as excited as I sound, because my bank holidays are less holidays than extensions to the weekend, which basically means slightly more time to finish homework projects/mess around on my iPad. So nothing particularly special. The only thing that really set this one apart was the sudden increase in temperature (it was significantly sunnier than when I posted about spring a few weeks ago), which I guess gave me some opportunity to sit or walk around in the garden, even if it was doing homework.

However, perhaps it's a reckless exaggeration that all I did was work and do everyday things this May Day. Because we did just go to a car boot sale yesterday! Yay! I never used to treat car boot sales with so much enthusiasm, thinking they were just another pointless thing my mum likes, but lately – I don't know if it's the new pig collection, more excitement in searching for new books and movies, a stronger interest in shopping or just a broadening of horizons since I started secondary school last September – I've sort of enjoyed searching around for little gems there a whole lot more, with their non-brand-new look and cheap prices.

So the one we went to was in a town near the country house, but I'll quit talking (only for a bit, though) and show you the haul, starting with the new inductees of my pig collection...

I was taken aback at the amount of pigs on sale, as I was only expecting one or two, or maybe none at all.  But car boot sales have surprised me again, and I came home with this load! The pink and brown pair at the front have a delightful homemade look, with their pathetic expressions, dot eyes and imperfect paint, and they're great as a combination together. The two plastic pigs next to them are a bit conventional pale-pink-pig, but I probably wouldn't have bought them if they hadn't been such a cute mother and piglet pair.

And then we get to the back row and the piggy banks. I don't intend to use these to store money, because I don't really get pocket money, I just ask my parents if I can have money to buy something or I get money from the bank on debit card. When I was younger, I used to use a red piggy bank (this will soon be in my collection, along with another wooden pig I found in my bedroom) and then a cute Japanese waving cat bank, but those days are far behind us.

But anyway, more about these piggy banks. While the turquoise one on the left has a cute unhappy face and interesting colouring, it's the one on the left I really love. Its cheeky expression, especially when viewed from the side, is a masterpiece of paintwork and the purple fish on the side is a unique touch (the pig is from Malta, if you were wondering). All in all, a great pig haul (Haha, that rhymes)!

 Note: If you've never read Peanuts or Calvin & Hobbes, you probably won't get any of the references in this passage. Just to warn you.

I'd never really read much Peanuts before now, although I am a huge and slightly obsessive fan of Calvin & Hobbes, the cartoonist of which cites Peanuts as a major influence, which is what drew me to them. When I first picked one of these up at the sale table, I thought "No. This isn't like any of Calvin & Hobbes, this is way too babyish. There's no hidden meaning behind these strips." But then I realised, that's sort of the point. The simplicity of the drawings provides immense charisma with just a circle and two dots, and the simple speech and jokes of Charlie Brown and the others are in some ways a lot more readable and charming than the philosophical points and often pretentiousness of Calvin's discussions with Hobbes, his parents and his teacher.

Also, I guess they're both very synonymous with other cartoons of their times: Peanuts has the innocent humour I've seen in books of 60s comics, and Calvin & Hobbes has the same cultural references and artistic criticism of other 80s and 90s cartoons and kids shows. Overall, I probably prefer the cynical yet amusing rants of Calvin, but that doesn't make Peanuts not enjoyable for a lighter read. And it definitely didn't stop me reading one and a half of the five books we bought (for £1!) on the car ride home and later placing it on my toilet reading pile :) (which used to include Calvin & Hobbes, but I've read and reread them too many times, apparently :()

Ah, now the movies. We bought many more than this, but these are the ones that really interested me: A Handful Of Dust, a historicy-romancey thingy; Along Came Polly, which is quite a famous rom-com, which I've heard lots about but somehow avoided seeing; and a totally random film I know nothing about, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. The only one I've seen so far is the latter, but I think the review will need a post for itself, as will the other movie reviews. I guess that's why I've just described it as "totally random" – I don't want to give so much away that I can't write the review! Anyway, reviews of all three coming soon!

And, finally, the bench on which I photographed them all! This will probably be used for drinks, food, outdoor decorations, maybe a seat and, of course, a photography pedestal on our country house patio, which is where all the photos are taken. I think it's quite a unique turquoisey-blue on here, sort of teal blue, it reminds me a bit of my Scout shirt :). But I think it's a nice blue that goes tastefully with the sparse red decoration. Also the star cut-out with the red inside is an interesting touch: it's not as brash as having a painted red star would be, but it's still a unique, eyecatching addition and sets the bench apart from all the rustic-style furniture that's popular right now.

What do you think of my haul? Do you ever go to car boot sales? If so, what do you buy? Don't hesitate to comment!

-DP :)

My New Collection Of…Pigs?!

Hi everyone. Right now I'm sitting on a small brick wall, blogging on my iPad, in front of a luminously green lawn, all alone save a woodpigeon. It's sunny but with a cold breeze. The grass is wet with dew. No prizes for guessing that this weekend we're in Suffolk at the country house, not London.

OMG, just realised that that first paragraph sounded WAY too much like last week's "Spring Is In The Air!!!" post. Sorry. You now have every right to say "Shut up, DP, and if you're going to talk, talk about something other than random picturesque landscapes! How about that weird post title you made up!". Well, to be fair, you had the right to say that before, because this blog believes in freedom of speech and as far as I'm concerned you can think whatever you like about my writing. And photography and videos and whatever else I happen to publish online. But I'm going off on another tangent (today is a very tangenty day, and I think I just coined a new word. Maybe it'll go viral). Better get to the point, and quick.

Anyway, now we can forget that second paragraph ever happened. And besides, you're probably wondering somewhere deep down in your brain, maybe even subconsciously, about what on Earth the titular Pig Collection is. Well, when we were on holiday last, my mum was telling an sad tale during breakfast about how a few years back she lost some of her postcard collection, which she'd had since she was five. Then I thought that I don't really have a collection of linked objects that I'd be really sad about if I lost one of the set (well, I suppose I have my collection of blog posts, but they're not really material…), and I asked my family for suggestions on what I should collect. There were weird, wonderful and just plain mad ideas put forward, from objects the length of my handspan (right, genius. What do I do when it changes?) to coyotes (oh, you see a lot of those on the souvenir shop rounds, don't you?) to six-inch-long objects (here lies DP, who always had a tape measure slung around her shoulder) to practically every animal figurine you can think of. And conventional things like snow globes, stickers or gemstones. My dad even had the "practical" idea of carrying on one of our family traditions which has existed as long as I can remember: getting a decorated tin every birthday and Christmas. They're nice tins and it's a fair idea, but that's something my parents made up, and not me, so it feels like too much of a prerogative. So I had to say no.

So the crisis remained unresolved until about a week after school started again. My mum was down at my Nana's house in Rottingdean and they were discussing the collection issue. My Nana collects mini, mainly high-heeled shoes which she displays on her bathroom cabinet, which I think is a lovely idea, but a) I don't want to copy her and b) mini shoes aren't really my thing, I much prefer real ones :D. However, before the shoe phase, I discovered my Nana also collected…PIGS! Now that's more up my street…

So my mum accepted the collection suggested, so Nana (hey Nana, and thanks!) gave me a couple to start my collection off! Aren't they so cute? I love how they aren't really straight pink piglets, but they're designed in a more sophisticated way. Also, they don't seem picture perfect; like people, they both have little appearance quirks, which I think makes them more real and not just figurines. The black pig has his green eyes and his broken leg (although that is something my dad is mending at the moment) and the glass pig has those red ears. And I genuinely think there's expression in those little eyes on the glass pig, especially in the solo photo. He looks like a despondent piglet stranded in a sea of wooden table, poor thing.

As you've probably gleaned, I have found what I want to collect. I am so sure of this (and I love the two first inductees so much) that I have placed them in the part of my bedroom I call the Cute Animal Shelf (see picture below). The empty part of said shelf is now officially devoted to my pigs, which I will always keep an eye out for!
-DP :)
PS Remember to enter my Swan Quiz contest, to be in chance of winning a feature on this blog of your choice! Check out this post for more details, the contest closes on the 22nd May.

Swans Doing A Very Odd Thing And A Random Quiz Competition

Wow, two milestones in Dramatis Persona history have been achieved today. Firstly, and more obviously, I now have separate pages (Get In Touch!!! and About This Funny Little Web Page), which is important to the sophistication of my blog. And secondly, this April has the most posts of any DP month! Including this one, it has 10 compared to the previous record of 8 in February 2012! Isn't that cool?!

I bet you're thinking, "well no, DP, not really", but that's not what I pressed "New Post"for. I just thought I should mention it. But no, I came to entertain (hey, that rhymes. A bit. Not really). And I came to entertain with this funny picture of two swans from the river who apparently mistook grass for water. Seriously, this should be on BuzzFeed.

Amazingly, their poses are exactly the same as they would be on the water. Wings ready to raise, head up straight, body as perfectly in line as a right angle. But couldn't they tell that this ground is just slightly dissimilar to their homeland? Or maybe they're on holiday, and taking a while to adjust to the new setting and how you're meant to walk there. Perhaps times are hard back in the river, and they're resting in the field for a moment of solace. But in their posture, there are signs that they can't forget all of home. Sorry, my swan fantasy is going crazy now, this my mental conversation with you guys.

READERS: Zap back to reality, DP, they are probably just making nests.
ME: Boringggg!!!!!

Anyway, leave the madness behind. I like swans. They have interesting personalities. And I mean that seriously, one moment they're gliding serenely along without a care in the world, and you make one false move and they jump out of the water, caw at you and possibly break your leg. Of course, that's only when they need to protect their cygnets, and I don't mean to make you from this day on petrified of all swans. But yeah, they're calm and a second later they're mad. They're volatile. A bit like all of us, really. Nothing humans don't share.

MY FIRST COMPETITION!!!

So, to commemorate this picture and the other swan picture I took yesterday, I thought I'd set up my first blog competition. No prizes for guessing that it's a quiz about swans. Seems as this is virgin territory for both of us, I thought I'd start with my questions:

1. The word "swan" is derived from what ancient language, a) Latin, b) Ancient Greek or 
2. c) Old English?
3. True or False? Swans are always omnivorous.
4. Which of the following is a real swan, a) Arctic Swan b) Tundra Swan or c) Alaskan Swan?
5. An old legend tells the story of a stepmother turning her stepchildren into swans, but what nation is it from?
6. Mute swans can reach what weight? a) 23 pounds, b) 33 pounds or c) 43 pounds?
7. The Swan ____; complete the title of this 2010 novel by Elizabeth Kostova?
8. What North American city gave Queen Elizabeth II the original six pairs of Royal Swans?
9. Which of the following swan breeds are migratory, a) Tundra Swan b) Mute Swan or c) Black-necked Swan?
10. Name the 2010 movie, successful at the 2011 Oscars, with a swan in its name.
11. How long on average do mute swans live, a) 1-10 years b) 10-20 years or c) 20-30 years?

I hoped you enjoyed my questions and as many of you enter as possible! Now for the boring bit the rules…

Rules

1) Anyone may enter.

2) Send all entries (with all questions answered) to thedramatispersona@gmail.com. ENTRIES SENT ELSEWHERE WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED.

3) The contest closes on the 22nd May. NO LATE ENTRIES WILL BE ACCEPTED.

4) I will notify winners through my blog and theirs, if they have one.

5) Those with the most correct answers win, and I'm sorry, but there won't be 2nd or 3rd prizes, because I can't do that many guest features at once. Ties will be resolved with random selection. MY DECISION IS FINAL.

6) The prize is your choice of:
a) an interview on this blog
b)a guest post on this blog
c)a post request for this blog
d) an interview with me for your blog

Happy entering!
-DP :)

Spring Is In The Air!

The title of this post may be such a reckless cliché, but hey, it still makes me feel like going Tra La La. And it's true, because I'm kind of glad my mum forced me under pain of death (well, not literally, she didn't threaten me with a gun or anything, but I like that expression) to take some fresh air and go to one of the shops near our country house. I was against it at first because I had a mountain of homework and I still wanted to blog, so to me it felt like a time-waster, but that excuse sort of backfired, because that's what gave me the idea for this post.

So, I'm sure you guys recall that a month ago I wrote a rant about how the British weather gods urgently need to sort out their differences and stop that March snow. Well, they're evidently followers of my blog (through what I wonder? Google Deity Connect?), because after that post, they took matters straight into their hands and dealt with the ol' winter-in-spring mess-up. Because after a brief period of mild-temperatured, boring weather, now it actually feels like archetypal, clichéd spring. And that's probably the only time you'll hear me use those words in a positive context. Because for classic, legendary things (and no, I'm not talking about Mozart here) like spring, they are the biggest compliments.

I like spring. In its stereotypical ideals, at least. After the bitingly cold temperatures of February and March, and before people get bored of heat round about July, it comes when people have exhausted this year's snow novelty (autumn is like this too, but instead it reminds people that this boring old heat will go and soon there will be snow and Christmas and the like) and gives us a welcome taste of bearable heat. And like the red leaves of the other in-between season, it gives us a genuine natural beauty. And of course, if it's beauty, I'll give you some pictures!

Light blue and a picture-perfect green. The best spring colours you'll find.

Our own primroses and other people's garden/cemetery daffodils. I love the way some of the flowers glow in the camera, they're so bright.

I really like this picture. I love how the trees loop over to frame our back garden river and the swan. He seems so still and isolated, as if he's drinking in the natural beauty. And if you look closely, his reflection looks like a bull with horns :).

And of course, spring is when all the macaws migrate to Suffolk! :)
-DP :)

Do you like the spring season? Or are winter, summer or autumn more your thing? Don't hesitate to comment!

Living Colour Fully In NYC

Hello everyone, I'm back! And I was glad to leave in some ways, to get back to my home, my friends and a proper computer for blogging, but Texas and New York were a welcome break and I really enjoyed the trip. But I am not going to ramble on forever about the sentimental values of holidays, I am going to talk about the advert above. I found this Kate Spade perfume ad on a wall in the arty Chelsea district of NYC, and it really caught my eye with its neon colours, and the checkerboard design between the hashtags (they look a bit too much like Keep Calm And Carry On posters, but hey, they're neon!!!) and the neon-dressed models. 

However, it was the hashtag slogan that really got me hooked and made me make my latest fashion post, "Live Colour Fully". Too many people wear just grey, black and white these days and claim they look "minimalist", but the real stars of the fashion of the streets are those who go all out and really attract positive attention from passersby. The ones who wear a bright-coloured gem among regular, "minimalist" clothes. The ones who "Live Colour Fully". And here is my photo collection of the LCF population of New York City (good, bad and ugly!). (N.B. These are discreet photos of actual people on the street. If you happen to see this and you don't want your picture here, please comment and I'll take it down).

This is one of the more subtle takes on LCF. Not sure about the matchy-matchy theme going on here, but the blacks and navies of their trousers are a good, tasteful contrast to the lemon yellow t-shirt/camisole.

Another yellow (it seems to be a popular LCF colour!) piece, and this woman has chosen well. The yellow jeans are engulfed in the beige of her cardigan and shoes in an eye-catching way, and they bring a good sort of attention to an otherwise boring outfit.

I like mint green, but only when it's worn with the right accompaniments. Which I think it is here. Mint green works not with black and other dark colours (ugh!), but with pastels and paler colours, like these floral trousers. They balance with the light green colour to make a milky, airy feel.

Blue and yellow requires guts, but sometimes it can work. Like red and blue, it's a clash that isn't shocking but a pleasant surprise, the clash you're starting to see more and more often. I also like the sleeveless-jacket-over-hoodie look, which is a versatile one that can be worn by anyone with pretty much any style. Oh, and like everyone else in the "good" section of this post, this guy has paired his look brilliantly with plain trousers and jacket-matching hi-tops.

Ah, now for the first of the bads. I don't know what it is, but pink doesn't work with greys and browns like yellow and blue do. There is a repulsive clash here, and I say, if you wear neon pink, either wear all pink if you're brave enough, or pair it with a fitting colour such as white. Just not grey. Or brown.

This woman went all out on colourful patterns, and I don't think she pulled it off. She's the first on the list to wear entirely LCF, and she has every neon colour under the sun on that dress (plus the fluorescent backpack). And it's a bit too much. If there was a dress with just one of those patterns on it would be fine (my favourite is the red optical illusion on her top), but all of them in one? With enough clashes to fill a catwalk? You look like a clown with an unqualified stylist. 

Thank you for reading, and take inspiration from the photos (maybe not the bad ones :))!

-DP :)

PS Last day of Easter holidays today :(. Had three school friends round today, made a short movie which is still in the editing process, but I hope to post it soon!

New York's Attempt At Graffiti: The Good, The Bad And The Random

OK, here's the deal. Right now I'm sitting in the lounge in Newark airport, but as you can probably guess, there is not much to blog about in an airport lounge. So I'm going to carry on blogging about New York. On our last day, when my dad wasn't working, we decided to go somewhere different, outside of Manhattan and a bit more similar to home.

I've posted about our graffiti at home in London before, so you've probably gleaned how much I love these spray-paint works on the wall. So I was enthralled about what the borough of Queens, just east of Manhattan, would bring to street art, and how it would be similar to and different from London. And Queens definitely didn't disappoint, with its walls plastered in art (we even saw a work in progress on the roof).

I think the main difference between the two city's art was perhaps the more sinister side to the New York graffiti. From the angry-faced lightbulbs (these were a lot more frequent than my photos of them) to the blue girl sitting outside her spaceship that reminds me of the aliens in "Avatar" to the various alieny images mercilessly dropped onto the wall, New York graffiti seems a lot more about the horror and sci-fi genres than the humour (ours, of course, is a different story: see my "This Proves Graffiti Can Be Awesome" post for our wall cockroach and the ubiquitous rats). As for that scowling face in the tree, that looks like it could be in "Lord Of The Rings", and they mess up the slightly funny story with the skull guy as a cowboy by introducing his face on a "Wanted" sign. Totally unnecessary.

However, every cloud has a silver lining (cliché, sorry) and they were some more remarkable works around the part of Queens I like to refer to as the "Graffiti Block". They make up for pressing too much on the sci-fi button by spraying lighter designs like the girl with coloured stalks coming out of her back (wings, maybe?), the tribute to the legend that is Amy Winehouse (I thought that one was one of the most technically good, unlike those random pink hairs sprouting out in odd places) and the adorably cute little monster saying "You no love me?". They return to old themes with the dystopian bluetits, but dystopian bluetits? I can feel an award-winning novel coming on.

Reminded of home by that random Union Jack on the Queens street, I am just about to board the flight, so although there will be more NYC posts, they will be written in London!
-DP :)

I Finally Have Some Cowboy Boots. Oh Yeah.

Yup, the title says it all really. But the ironic thing is, we go to New York and Texas, and you'd expect them to be bought in Texas, and sure, we did see a lot of cowboy boots there. But they were all too enormously big or they were really cute little ones meant for little kids. No size 5s. So where did we eventually find them? A New York thrift shop.

I guess I should feel pretty lucky that my mum found a street full of thrift shops last night when we were walking home from dinner (I was initially gloomy; despite them being the subject of one of the best songs currently in the charts, I never really find anything worth having in thrift shops). But you're all screaming right now, why did you ever want cowboy boots in the first place? For several reasons:

1) How can you ever leave Texas without owning cowboy boots? It's cowboy country, come on. I was in despair when we got on the domestic New York flight. Now, even if I never wear them, they'll still go nicely in my room as a memory of this trip.

2) Forget Converse, cowboy boots are the best type of footwear to go with jeans. I mean, they're what jeans were invented to go with! Literally, Levi Strauss (who designed clothes for cowboys) wouldn't have invented jeans had it not been for cowboy boots. So to justify owning jeans, logically you should need cowboy boots. And I have some dark blue jeans I need to be more inspired wearing.

3) Taylor Swift wears them. Bit of a shallow one that, but it's one step further in my everlasting quest to be the new Taylor. Actually, the real reason for number 3 is the whole country singer association. When you wear them, you feel like you stepped right out of your banjo-playing slot in the barn in Nashville (even if you don't play the banjo in the first place). If you prefer, you can imagine yourself in a Chevy truck, that has a tendency of getting stuck (if you think I've gone absolutely crazy, that last bit's a lyric from Taylor Swift's "Tim McGraw"). All because of the amazing cowboy boots you're wearing.

4) They will go down an absolute storm at school mufti day! After my entirely red (I mean entirely, even my socks were red) outfit at Red Nose Day, it would be a good next instalment in the Over The Top series, as my classmates call it. Watch out 7T!

5) They are awesome, to be frank. What other boots have an interesting hem, pretty embroidery, a small but walkable heel and many a legend behind them? That cannot be said of another boring ol' pair of trainers.

Those are my five reasons behind buying these (they were $25, a relative bargain for real leather). I hope you see them as justifying the purchase. If you don't, I'll cheer you up by leaving you with a picture of Taylor Swift in some amazing blue cowboy boots I wish I had (but hey, you can't have everything) – they used to be her trademark back in her country days, but they've now been mercilessly replaced by downgrading to pop (much as I love her pop songs, they just aren't as good as her early country ones) and Louboutins. And, of course, I'll also share a picture of my own new boots!
-DP :)

If I Were In The Gutai…

"In New Yoooooork, concrete jungle where dreams are maaaaaade of, there's nothing you caaaan't doooo!" Yeah, bit of Alicia Keys there. You've probably guessed where I am right now, unless you either think I'm being enormously cryptic or you're pretty stupid. But I'm going off topic right now. I have good news and bad news. The good news is we got upgraded to a suite because the receptionist liked us! And we have a view of the Empire State Building from the room! But you know what the Empire State Building looks like, I'm not going to post a picture. And the suite isn't really relevant to you guys out there, so on to the bad news. The bad news is that my mum forgot to print out all her notes about things to do here (we've been before when my dad goes on business, so we've already been to all the tourist sites), so she's forgotten all the interesting places I was going to blog about :(.

But we did go somewhere interesting today, we went to the iconic Guggenheim Museum. Frank Lloyd Wright's architecture is really awesome there, and I got the most zoomed out picture I could without stepping into the road :). And inside the only thing you were allowed to take a picture of were these tubes with coloured plastic inside. Apparently once you were allowed to go on to the upper floors and tip the tubes and watch the plastic inside run about, but Health & Safety deemed it unacceptable because you had to lean over the rails (damn you risk assessor!).

But the real highlight of the museum was the Gutai exhibition. The Gutai were a Japanese art group in the 50s and 60s, who tried to make art less about abstract expression than the actual process of the art and interaction with the audience. And their avant-garde lack of expression is why I find it unnecessary to show pictures of their work here (you weren't allowed photos anyway); they made the kind of work that you can simply describe and still provoke interest. Such artworks include the man who ran through twenty one screens of paper and got concussion at the end, the woman who made a dress from light bulbs (Ha, Lady GaGa, youre not the first one) and the bell that the audience could ring that sounded like a fire alarm (again, Health & Safety made us only ring it once every hour. GRRRR.). To put it like the exhibition brief, the Gutai "mentally reframed the commonplace", which you'll see is in my new blog description.

So I was inspired by the Gutai, and decided to make an avant-garde work of my own. Just my luck that when we were walking back to the hotel through Central Park (one of my favourite parks in the world, it's good to be back after two years), someone had written on the street a list of exercise drills, and been stupid enough to leave the chalk around. I had a brain wave that perhaps this could be an interactive piece, that people could come along, pick up the (washable) chalk and write a new, funny or serious, exercise drill on the list. I started it off with a silly drill and a spot of blog promo (see picture)! Oh, and people in New York, if you go to Central Park, keep an eye out!
-DP :)

2188 And The Mysterious San Antonio Fossils

This is our last day in Texas :(. But at least tomorrow we're flying over to New York! Sorry for no posts in the last couple of days, there is no excuse on a holiday, but I can tell you that the last two days have been very eventful! We left the town of Fredericksburg, which was was disappointing in the way that its "Wild West" town status had been undermined by tourism (but that's a post for a rainy day, and today is sunny :)), for a brief stop at the beautiful sunset over the Enchanted Rock in the middle of the desert, before arriving in San Antonio (to stay with some of my dad's awesome old friends David and Pat – hi guys!). We've had a great time here yesterday and today seeing the sights – a baseball game, a missionary church and the ubiquitously famous Alamo (and a restaurant with a giant burrito eating contest :/) but I'll talk about all of them some other time. Because today's fantasy story plan was set in stone (or rather concrete).

When we were walking by the river today, there was a stretch of walkway devoted to art installations, my favourite of which has become the basis of my latest blog fantasy. Basically it's a load of old tools set in the concrete to imitate fossils, to say in the least professional terms. But this is starting to seem like a rambling stream of consciousness, so I'll start the story now…


The Oddest Shape So Far

"Who'd thought it! 2188, 300-odd years after the birth of archaeology, and we're still digging up supposed gems like some dumb gravedigger!" Grumpy historian H. Parker, as the team all knew him, was tired of this louse of a pastime. J. Timpson however, the newest thing at the archaeology department of the Museum of 21st Century History, had other ideas.

"Shut up, H! Just because we don't have webbed feet like the old journal entries and novels we find said that we would and frankly we're all made to look and think the same, and the skeletons aren't doing much better, does not mean this isn't worthwhile!"

"Oh, come on. That's what all the newbies round here think. Totally naïve…" H tutted in reply. "All we found today was a pathetic hipbone, and if you think that's real value, you should be one of those people they talk about in the old books, what do they call them? Doctors, I think!"

"See, you're contradicting yourself already. You're cynicking on about how we never find anything of use, but if you weren't an archaeologist you'd never know what a doctor was!" J's response stopped H in his tracks.

"OK, fine, newbie wins again." H countered, rather patronisingly. "But still what use did doctors give to the world? Nothing after some smart politician came up with the medical-training-for-all law!"

Archaeology had sort of gone down the drains when the world went equality-crazy round about the 2090s. Everything found was turned down as being offensive towards some party, because some people in a painting had different jobs or were from different towns. But a hundred years on, the equality bug still hadn't stopped H and J's arguments. However, J's next find just might have done.

"H, here's something you'll like!"

"Is it another damned bone!"

"No! And it's not offensive! At least I hope so! Fact is, I don't know what it is!"

"You don't know! Did your knowledge surgery fail! There's no such thing as 'don't know'! On Earth, everyone is born knowing everything! It's not news! It's part of the World Equality Movement of 2089!"

"Look, d'ya think I've been under a rock! 'Course I know everyone looks, thinks, talks, knows, does and so on, the same things! And we have machines to create and repair everything for us, so minimal jobs are required! But what if something else is discovered! That's not covered by the Movement."

"OK, what rubbish did you find now!"

The archaeologists peered over at the new finding. A concrete coating protected a thing that would confuse the world forever.

"Hmmm, silver outside, straight edges, heavy, weird symmetry there, a bone-like shape… nothing like anything we've seen before…" mused a Leader Of The Equal Earth. "Perhaps it was an Equality Rebel trying to put colour surgery on their bones…fool!"

"It seems older…2020 maybe,"J wondered aloud, "A ritual device, but then religion was pretty much gone by then…"

"Oh, what mystery, all the pieces to bolt together!" H remarked sarcastically to a disapproving J.

"What about this circular thingy with the holes and the curvy edges? Maybe it was one of those things they used for their animals to walk around? I always liked animals, but they're not equal to us, of course…"

"Mmhmm," replied the Leader "Or maybe a wheel of luck. I heard the old idiots had them… Tsk, luck! No equality there at all!"

There was a sudden passionate tone in J's voice. "Whatever these strange things are, they're our oddest shapes yet!"


Thanks for reading! I have the pictures of the tools we saw, so you know what J and the Leader were seeing for the first time. And yeah, cynicking is a madeup word; hopefully it'll be a reality in the future!
-DP :)